My Story of Forgiveness

My Forgiveness Story: The Power Of Reconciliation Stronger Than Revenge

“You will have to identify them.”

 “But I am blind and cannot see to identify them!” I  answered. At night I had recurring dreams where I hunted my attackers endlessly.  Revenge became the focus of my tortured existence.

 Every moment of my terrible life was devoted to an  insatiable hunt for revenge. I found them. I turned tensely to look at them.  They turned around to look at me. Each, in his turn, slowly smiled with an evil  grin on his face, with a knife gripped tightly in his hand. Their weapons were  positioned specifically for my throat and my heart.

 In the shadows they grabbed me, made me lie down, tied me  up and poured more acid into my eyes. As I lay helplessly, I mentally saw them,  their hands pulled back, ready to kill me. Ready to slit my throat, with an evil  wide grin of pleasure upon their faces, I saw myself about to become slaughtered  like a hog in a mud pen, and it was terrifying. They said that they were doing  this just to make sure I was dead this time. The blood trapped in my head by the  suffocating knife pressing against my throat burst into my congested eyeballs  and blinded me. There was no courage, no peace, no holiness, but I understood  the fear of pain and the fear of death. 

Although I tried to forget the terrible fears of my  nightly nightmares, the panic that accompanied my waking up to escape from them,  turned to reality when I perceived that I was a living victim–I have survived  acid attack to my face. I was relieved to be alive after the terrible nightmares  night after night. On one hand I saw myself as a brave and courageous woman, but  on the other hand I saw myself as an angry coward; a fear-ridden woman,  fear-sick woman. They were still alive and free, and in their hands was my  wrecked life. I had no love or gratitude.

 Story Continue on the next  post

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Life Stories

When The Task Seemed Impossible

I first heard of “Blog” when my book, ~Face of Hope: The  Carol Guscott Story was being edited at the publisher. Since the book’s release  date two years ago, due to my blindness and poverty I have not been able to  fully utilize social media to promote my book.

My friend Lavern and I had not communicated for a long  time. A few weeks ago, Lavern called me. We were   catching up, when Lavern  excitingly shared that her son, Gary, is an internet marketing specialist! I  suddenly realized the time has come for me to get an expert to help me promote  ~Face of Hope on the internet, in ways I had never able to do since the book’s  release.

Gary contacted me saying, “I looked you up on the  internet. You need to have fresh content on the website; you are to blog. The  goal of all this blogging, Facebook and Instagram is to broaden your connections  to people. We have to create a buzz again about your story.”

I have heard the word, “blog” used many times, but not  fully knowing where or how to proceed writing a blog, the thought of me  blogging, my heart instantly condemned me, and froze me with a paralyzing fear.  Time passed, I gathered strength, and went on the internet to learn about  blog.

I think we all experienced moments when a project, a  problem, or a challenge felt almost impossible; too large and difficult for our  capacity. We may have felt frozen by fear, paralyzed by indecision not knowing  where, or how to proceed. Then we discovered, the only way to proceed, was  simply, to begin, just begin. It has been said that the deed is half done, once  we have made a beginning. So, we do what we can, no matter how small it  seemed.

It certainly required faith, but that’s the way challenge  is that seemed insurmountable, have always been overcome. Remember the Bible  story of the children of Israel? After forty year of wondering in the  wilderness, they faced one final obstacle before entering into the promise land,  the river Jordon was overflowing its banks. The Lord parted the river allowing  the Israelites to cross on dry ground, but only after showing enough faith to  step into the water.

Readers: When we feel overwhelm, when the task ahead  seemed to great, we may just need to start by getting our feet wet Step by step,  little by little, great change will begin to happen. The Lord will begin to  bless our efforts, and magnified our abilities, but we must first  begin.

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